New Year

Looking back at the year that I thought was pretty mellow actually turned to be a little nuts! This year I feel learned how to set and keep my own goals and how important it is to be happy with yourself above everything and how struggling to help everyone can so easily detour you from yourself. All in all I think I grew up a lot this year, and heading into 2013 I feel a strength inside of me that I like but a fear at the same time of starting off new. I want to make sure that 2013 is spent building myself into a better human from the beginning, doing what I want without the unnecessary fears or guilt and living my life to the fullest. Its starting to sound selfish to me now, but I know I also can't give back the way I'd like to until I am a developed human being with the physical and mental ability to do so.
So 2013 for me is dedicated to hard work, personal strength and much love and appreciation for those who truly love me and those who truly help me through the best and tough times.
Tonight I'll be ringing in the new year with family and support for a new beginning. And some champagne.

How do you love a trouble maker who tells you nothing but his troubles?
As a self proclaimed optimist at this point I'm even having a hard time trying to see the light.
It's some how gone so far off into the distance from where it was before that i'm starting to feel like I'm falling into this deep dark tunnel of,
well,
trouble.
I used to think my optimism brought light into our world, yet anytime I try to shine I find myself constantly turned off and tuned out.
And when I try to be trouble, you love me but I hate myself.
So where the hell is this going?
I'm trying to figure this out because the last thing I want for myself is to find myself suddenly at the bottom of some deep
dark
hole.
With nothing left but hope and no light at the end of the tunnel.

Where Have I Been?!

Wow its been a while since I've seen this thing, and looking over my past writings i'm honestly pretty pissed at myself that I haven't kept going after high school. It's three years later after writers craft end and my love for writing seemingly faded away. I'll be back to writing soon, since a lots been going on through my head: questioning my love, my goals and my self. Meanwhile I'll be listening to Alabama Shakes and studying for finals.